OUR THOUGHTS, OUR CHOICE – Doing “The Work”

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”

William James

We can be fooled by our thoughts. For example, it’s Monday, but it doesn’t feel like Monday. It feels like Tuesday or Wednesday. Due to the inconvenience of a stomach virus, I lost a few days last week and worked over the weekend to catch up. It’s thrown me off kilter.  Staying on track has never been my strong suit. Structure is ever illusive. The discipline I do have, and my husband tells me I have a ton of it, is so embedded in my subconscious that no decision making is required. (Thanks in no small part to my big sister, my “other mother.)

WORK & MONEY

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Work is not really work for me. I love what I do. I don’t have a set salary and my income is erratic. It’s the nature of freelance writing. But for both reasons, I feel guilty calling it “work”. My goal for years has been to make what I can without compromising my beliefs, values and intent. It’s a never-ending challenge.

Money. It’s an issue for many.  This was made crystal clear by the results of the survey I sent out yesterday. (If you haven’t taken it, and have the time, it’s not too late. I always appreciate your input. 

THE JOY OF A NEW VACCUUM

Before I sat down to write this morning I impulsively pulled out our new vacuum cleaner, which actually was still poised for launch in the living room where I left it yesterday. In fact, since buying this new appliance I’ve vacuumed every room in the house, often more than once a day. My whole attitude toward vacuuming has changed in a flash. It’s not that I didn’t like vacuuming before. It’s one of those repetitive movements that promises a feel good moment with each pass…a cleaner floor! 

We have pets and the carpet is old. As soon as I finish vacuuming a room, I turn around and a hunk of fur appears! And, the carpet will never come back to life. However, our new vacuum revolutionized this frustrating and ho-hum experience. The fix? A little red light!

A little red light on the head piece of the vacuum blinks on when it finds a bit of dirt and miraculously turns green when the dirt is gone. The first time I experienced this revelatory process I was hooked. Now I vacuum with focus and attention, eyes and actions intent on turning that little red light green. It’s down right meditative. (Or, obsessive.) Either way, it works!  I gets me to vacuum, often. 

THE POWER OF OUR THOUGHTS

This experience caused me to reflect on the power of our thoughts to influence our feelings and behavior. As Byron Katie reminds her readers and listeners, a thought arises. It just does. We don’t have any control over that part of it. However, when we become aware of a thought, we can then choose what follows. A lack of awareness of our thoughts leaves us vulnerable to feelings and actions based upon beliefs we may no longer actually believe. And, sadly, we don’t even know it! If we take the time to step back and question what we are thinking, we can learn to align our thinking with our true values and beliefs. Instead of being reactive, we will act from a place of integrity wihtin our selves. 

For instance, this thought arises: “It’s not Monday”. Is it true? My thoughts tell me it’s probably Tuesday. An external source is telling me it’s Monday and so I double-check what I believe to be true. Sure enough it’s Monday. If I choose to to hold on to my belief that it’s Tuesday when the whole world, including my schedule, is operating as if it’s Monday, I will experience major stress. I may miss an appointment, not call my son, and miss my favorite TV show. 

Let’s try another thought. “Maybe I shouldn’t even call it work”? Is it true? I should not call what I do work. Of course it’s not true. I can call it whatever I like. There’s no law against calling what I do work. The tricky part that takes some practice is that many thoughts have a thought that preceded them. Or, a feeling. These are largely archaic and unconscious. Maybe you can see it.

STEP BACK AND OBSERVE

As I step back and ask, “what led me to place a judgement on what I do for work, or how I work”? These thoughts come to mind: 1) anything pleasurable cannot be of monetary value; 2) work by its very nature is not enjoyable. Work is hard and grueling and forced upon us. Work is what we don’t want to do; 3) Writing is fun and enjoyable, therefore it is not work, and therefore has no monetary value; 4) Work is something that one takes seriously and requires physical and mental effort alone, not reflective, intuitive, feeling abilities. You get the picture? What about these thoughts? Are they true?

When we take the time to go back and find the belief that led to a thought, we can begin to get straight with our true selves. I was raised by parents who believed the beliefs I still carry in my unconscious. I think they are mine because they have been there so long. Their values were different from mine for a variety of reasons.

Here’s what is true for me: 1) I believe that if we do what we love, with desire and practiced intention, we can make money doing it.  2) I believe that work can and should be enjoyable, and that when it is not, it is still only our thoughts that make us suffer. 3) I believe the word “work” carries antiquated meaning for me. A better choice might be “career” or “profession”. 4) I have learned to appreciate and value the “down” time that includes deep, reflective thought, meditation, research and quiet reading that is an essential part of my profession. I once believed it to be an indication of my laziness. 

CHOOSING OUR THOUGHTS

Williams James said it well when he said, The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”  As we slow things down and break them into part, we can find our our truest, bottom line thought in a stressful situation. Then, we can change our thought and remove the stress. Key is our willingness to tune in and pay attention to what we are thinking. My thoughts around the little red light created a whole new feeling for me about vacuuming.  

What thoughts cause you stress? What beliefs are associated with those thoughts?

Byron Katie’s book, Loving What Is, especially in the audio version, is a valuable tool for practicing this process. I purchased all of her audios through Audible and listened to each multiple times. She does live sessions with real people as they work the process together, or “do the work” as she calls it, and it’s very instructive. Incidentally, I find my membership with Audible both immensely valuable and affordable. I only purchase items I know I will listen to again and again. I use Kindle and pre-owned physical books for fiction or impulse purchases.

“The Work is simply four questions that, when applied to a specific problem, enable you to see what is troubling you in an entirely different light. As Katie says, “It’s not the problem that causes our suffering; it’s our thinking about the problem.” Contrary to popular belief, trying to let go of a painful thought never works; instead, once we have done The Work, the thought lets go of us. At that point we can truly love what is, just as it is.

Loving What Is will show you step by step, through clear and vivid examples, exactly how to use this revolutionary process for yourself.”  Audible * Kindle * Paperback * Hardback

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