An Opportunity for Change – Sometimes It Comes When We Least Expect It!

Life delivers the opportunity for change and growth, often when we least expect it. Once-in-a-lifetime events are just such opportunities. When the pot is stirred by events such as graduations, weddings, job changes, loss or a move, it is not uncommon to lose one’s perspective.

The weeks leading up to my son’s wedding brought a heavy load of unfinished-business-stress barreling down on me, not to mention the necessity for getting it all together and showing up for the function itself.  I knew I was facing a challenge and an opportunity for change, but much of it lay beneath the veil of my perception.  I was trying to stay cool, centered and in balance, but the tide of change had its way with me. I couldn’t stop it. I just had to go with it.

I wasn’t worrying about anything in particular. It was more like this giant, multicolored cloud over my head. Sometimes the pending celebration felt over the top exciting and at other times I was pretty sure it was going to rain down doom on me.

I’ve had many an opportunity for change since the accident, now six years ago, give or take. I’ve struggled to regain my resilience and equilibrium not only from it but from events of my life before it. I understand now that my ” come apart”  was just as much a result of the life I’d lived up until the accident as it was the accident itself. In fact, I’ve come to see the accident as a gift. It woke me up, even as it sent me reeling into a “dark night of the soul”.  It gave me the gift of opportunity — opportunity for change.

The wrenching impact the accident had on my life, inside and out, forced me to relinquish perspectives and beliefs that had paralyzed me throughout my life. It’s been a hard-fought battle, but when I headed west last September, I realized I had turned the corner.

It’s uncomfortable, at times, being a whole different person. I don’t respond and react to things the way I used to do. The chaos that ran around in my head and interfered with my relationships is gone. I show up, just as I am. That surprises me, but I’m pretty sure that’s the way we are supposed to be! I don’t worry problems to death. I think about them, feel them, let them roll around inside of me and then I either act on them or set them aside. I prefer now to share the wisdom I’ve gained rather than my problems. It just makes more sense.

I was overjoyed when I learned of my son’s engagement. I loved the woman who came into his life and mine and I was so, so happy that he was happy. As the date approached and plans needed to be made, I froze. I couldn’t move forward. I didn’t seem to be able to get myself to make flight reservations, or buy a dress, or do any of the things I thought I would be eager to do. For six weeks leading up to the wedding I wrestled with demons, demons that had no cause to wake up until a family event such as a wedding landed on my doorstep. It was an opportunity for change.

With guidance, support, determination and effort I was able to lay to rest another layer of outdated beliefs, fruitless expectations, and I eventually came out a little more me. It was necessary. It was liberating. It was, painful. I took several more steps to set the record straight for myself, to align my outside with my inside. I said things I needed to say. I did things I needed to do. Of course speaking what is true for oneself does have its consequences. For a year now, people have been dropping away like flies. I am discovering that what I was told I would discover when I dared to let go of unhealthy relationships, was true – – in the empty space my tribe has begun to show up.  Wow, what a difference!

I continue to learn that diving deep is seldom easy; that unwrapping and removing our masks is an ongoing process and challenge, particularly for those of us who are part of the scar clan – the deeply wounded. I’ve also learned that it is always possible to heal from the past, to become more resilient, and find greater inner strength. We may no longer have the same physical capacities we once had as we age, it’s a bit more challenge when stress arrives on our doorstep from a physical standpoint.  We do however, have many other skills and abilities that more than do the job. Our bodies may yell at us and buckle under with physical eruptions when we push our limits.  It may take longer for us to recover from stress, both internal and external. Our inner capacities, however, only increase and expand. We are so much more than we were — beneath the surface.

Perspectives change. We change. Life changes.

Change is the one constant in life.

Life events are an opportunity for change and growth.

We can choose to fight it or we can learn from it. The more often we are able to gird our loins and learn and grow from the process the more often we will be carried on the wings of angels to a richer, more meaningful life.

OTHER POSTS YOU MAY ENJOY

How Long Does It Take for a Wound to Heal

The Masks We Wear

Be Patient Toward All That Is Unresolved In Your Life

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LEARN ABOUT EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)

Chrystal Honeycutt, ND, RH, AHG has been my go to person for support and guidance as I learn to manage and deal with PTSD, and stress overload. She taught me to use EFT to help re-ground myself during stressful times and process my feelings around change and past trauma. She recently posted this video on her You-Tube Channel. It is a clear introduction to the process and if you’re interested in learning the process and using it I highly recommend you take a few minutes to watch it. After an introduction to the process she exhibits tapping on the subject of change.