Finding a way to overcome addictive behavior is a serious process. Much attention is paid to addiction in general. less attention, however, is given to the underlying psychological causes. An addiction at its core is a pattern of behavior that came about to help us cope. When we use a behavior repeatedly to ease our pain or discomfort it quickly can become an addiction.
The most common addictions like smoking, drugs, food and gambling are also those most often discussed. Other behaviors, however, can be classed as addictions. For example shopping, working, exercising, gaming, social media and sexual promiscuity can all become addictive behaviors. We like to believe we are in control of the thoughts we think and the feelings we feel, but when addiction takes hold we feel powerless. We feel like a servant to that behavior.
A COMMON THREAD IN ADDICTIVE BEHAVIOR
There is a common thread to all addictive behavior patterns. An addictive behavior distracts us from negative feelings. It has the ability to mask our real feelings, and/or reduce the intensity of these feelings. For instance, let’s say that you are struggling to deal with an empty nest, a job you hate, or a relationship conflict. In order to distract and soothe these uncomfortable feelings, comfort food is your go to. Yummy food can temporarily assuage stress and anxiety and take one’s mind off the problem. It may, however, develop into an addictive pattern that then becomes a coping mechanism.
REPLACE UNHEALTHY COPING MECHANISMS
When we become aware of an unhealthy coping behavior, we can then shift our attention to something that serves us better. This is the first step to breaking an addition. When we realize that comfort eating has taken a toll on our health, we can begin to think about alternatives. We might choose to go for a swim or a walk when upset or stressed. We might call a friend or schedule a massage. Noticing an addictive pattern and choosing an alternative, again and again can help us break an addictive pattern.
Activities like swimming, walking, spending time in nature, and massage are activities that are healing for the body. And, what is good for the body is good for the rest of us. These activities feed our self-esteem, improve our physical well-being and give us a sense of control over ourselves and our lives.
WE HAVE A CHOICE
We have a choice. When we make choices that are good for us, rather than self-destructive, we gain confidence. This increased confidence helps us make more better choices. In this way we gradually break associations that lead us on a downward spiral to addiction.
If, for example, we associate smoking a cigarette with stress relief then it becomes difficult when feeling stressed not to do so. In fact, there’s a part of the brain that would consider it insane to give up something that brings comfort and relief.
In this sense, if we want to stop smoking, we need to change the association – stop associating a positive meaning to the activity of putting a cigarette in your mouth, and start associating pain.
It’s only normally when a visit to the doctor uncovers something sinister that people start to shift their associations. Therefore the most basic and fundamental thing we can do to overcome addictive behavior is to associate pain with that behaviour, and pleasure to something more beneficial. As long as we associate pleasure with a bad habit, the longer we will continue to do it.
OUR THOUGHTS, OUR CHOICE
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