MEMORABLE WEDDING MOMENTS – Life’s Big & Little Ups and Downs

Wedding of number two son has come and gone. Like all other big events in my children’s lives, there is a first and a last. Ups and downs. Joys and sorrows. Just like giving birth to them, I never much thought about any of it in advance. Sometimes I wonder what it is I do think about!

The upside of not dreaming and planning their lives in advance is that I have and had no expectations. I didn’t think about who they would be or what they would do. I waited patiently, and at times not so patiently, for them to tell me who they were.  As a result it’s been a steady stream of surprises. Without expectation, I have enjoyed the ride — well, most of the time! There certainly has been some pretty scary moments and uncertain choices, but in the end they continue to amaze me.

WEDDINGS

I love weddings. They are a wonderful reminder of that special moment in my own life. Though I can look back and see more clearly my fantasies about happily ever after and am aware that they don’t play out as we expect,nor do we see the pitfalls, the dream and the ideals they represent are still very much alive. I think, after all, dreams and ideals are goals to work toward but  never fully achieve. And, that’s okay.

So, the wedding.  We flew into town on Monday for a Friday wedding. Circumstances greatly expanded our roles as Father and Mother of the Groom and I don’t think any of us set our butt in a chair or took a breath for the entire week. Last minute details seemed to pop up like an unexpected rash! My first task was to iron the table cloths – all 12 of them – large, circular polyester table cloths – without an ironing board and having at my disposal only a miniature iron. Rumor has it, millennials do not iron!

Task #1:

I spread two towels out on the kitchen counter top, filled the iron with water and gave it the ole’ yeoman’s effort. By the time I got to table-cloth #2, an hour of frustration had passed. It was time to find another way. I did what the rest of the world does and googled it. Ah! a better idea!

Throw the table cloths in the dryer with a damp towel and fabric softener sheets. (You probably already thought of that!) I jumped on the easier option and started the procedure, two by two. I managed to finish eight table cloths before time ran out. Finding an effective way to protect and transport them without undoing everything I’d done was the next challenge! They came nicely packaged and I was starting to regret even starting the process. I loaded them into storage bins and they made it to the tables that looked beautiful despite random wrinkles. Now I’m pretty sure it was an exercise in futility.

Task #2:

Hem my son’s pants. I positively hate to hem pants – or iron them. I suggested he take them to a professional. You’d be more apt to get the

job done right, I told him. “You’re sort of a professional, Mom,” he says. Right. Our children, even at thirty are often delusional about their parents skills and abilities. In the spirit of saving time & money, I accepted the honors and hemmed his pants. Fortunately, when I was done, the pant legs were both the same length.

Task #3:

Watch the baby while Mom made the wedding cake, showered, dressed, ran to the store . . . and other random moments he needed watching! It was the best job of all and helped me keep my feet planted on the ground.

Task #4:

Last minute shopping: Go to Costco every five minutes for something my son thought we needed. More water, more beer, more soda. Then there was shopping for food for the rehearsal dinner his Dad was preparing. Oh, and to Kohl’s/Macy’s for a shirt for Dad, a wrap for me, and on to the grocery store for plastic cups and plates, and more food stuff for the dinner.

Task #5:

Exchange other son’s shirt for a different size and iron it.

Eventually time ran out and we all agreed the wedding would go on as is. Let the chips fall where they may, we shouted! And we were off to the venue (by way of Costco) in separate cars at separate times.

THE WEDDING CAKE

My daughter-in-law is a talented professional cake designer — License to Bake. She was responsible for the wedding cakes. One, a three layer cheesecake and a second a three-tier wedding cake in the shape of some mountain fro The Lord of the Rings. She was also performing the wedding ceremony! (Remember she just had a baby in May?) Plus, she works a full-time job. When we arrived both parents were exhausted because baby Emmett was not into sleeping. But she’s a trooper and set about making the cakes after we got home from the rehearsal dinner.

She worked into the night, crashed for a few hours and was up finishing the up the day of the wedding. These cakes take hours, but she finished them and they were beautiful. Scott and I took off for the wedding and she was following behind with baby and cakes.

We started to worry about her when it was pushing 5 o’clock and she had not yet arrived. The wedding was to begin at 5:30 and we had all planned to meet there at 4:00. My son escaped from the photo shoot (he was the best man) to tell us he had heard from her and . . . the 3 tiered mountain cake had fallen over in the back of the car and smashed to smithereens. Did we know where there was a bakery? Sigh. Poor Erin!

We had the 3 cheesecakes and 3 pumpkin pies and decided that would have to do. We also had left over cookies from the rehearsal dinner if we needed them – although they were knocked over in our car the day before and few were in one piece any longer. Onward and upward! The bride and groom would be disappointed, but kind and understanding.

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THE WEDDING

With Dad in the wedding party and Mom officiating, little baby Emmett was my responsibility – and Grandpa’s. (We had a duel, and I won.) We settled into our front row seats and waited for the ceremony to begin. The venue was a large, open warehouse, converted and transformed into a beautiful place for a wedding ceremony, but it was noisy and it didn’t take long for my sweet grandson to become agitated and out of sorts. Then he looked up and saw Mom standing less than 10 feet away talking and Dad only a short distance away and directly in front of us. Neither one was paying any attention to him. He began to cry. Grandpa and I took turns trying to calm him. According to my son, he looked over and we were both trying to shove a pacifier in his mouth at the same time! We managed  to make it through the ceremony and just as his Mom pronounced them Man and Wife, baby Emmett erupted. The timing couldn’t have been better and fortunately everyone laughed – except him of course.

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And so, my second son is now married and off on his honeymoon. The rest of us collectively heaved a sigh of relief you could probably hear around the world and collapsed. All is well that ends well.

HOW TO BE AN AUTHENTIC MOTHER OF THE GROOM