When you are caring for aging parents, advocacy will become part and parcel of your daily life. However, advocacy does not come naturally to everyone. Below, we provide an overview of advocacy and offer a starter guide to the “do’s” and “don’ts” of this important practice.
What does it mean to “advocate for aging parents”?
Many caregivers find that they assume an almost parental role in making decisions regarding their parents’ care in later life. As such, you may find it necessary to make decisions regarding medical needs, as well as details of their care.
When is advocacy necessary?
If one or both of your parents are experiencing issues such as dementia, you may be required to make these decisions without their input.
However, even if your parents are of sound mind, you may become their advocate. The current generation of elderly people are often unwilling or unable to advocate for themselves. This tendency is due, in part, to the social norm that “not making a fuss” is the preferred approach to all difficulties.
Therefore, you may find that your parents avoid visiting a doctor, and unwilling to request a new treatment plan, or even complain of elderly abuse. Their decades-old preference for just getting on with things wins out. To resolve these issues, you then become their advocate to ensure they receive the standard of care they deserve. You speak up for them when they cannot speak up for themselves.
How can you be a good advocate?
First and foremost, to be a good advocate, you have to listen. If your parents have a preference or wish to choose a particular course of action, pay attention. Even if you disagree with their thoughts, it is still beneficial to let them know their views have been heard. You can then gently explain why you disagree, and why you think a different course of actions is preferable.
Second, trust your instincts when it comes to your parents’ well-being. If you suspect that your parents are not as well as they lead you to believe they are, follow-up. If you are suspicious of the behavior of their nursing home staff, do not dismiss these fears without looking into it.
Instead, obtain more information, either by informing your parents’ medical team of your concerns or speaking to other families at the same nursing home. If your suspicions prove to be founded, you can then look for further medical assistance or representation after elderly abuse if necessary. If you find that all is well, then at least you are reassured that all is well.
Finally, try to think practically rather than emotionally. Ask yourself what course of action you would suggest to a stranger, rather than thinking only of your parents. By doing this, you are more likely to make clear, evidence-based decisions about the future.
Final thoughts
Hopefully, these tips will help you to adjust to advocating for your aging parents. The more you step into the role of advocate, the more your confidence will grow. Over time, you will find that advocacy becomes easier and easier, benefiting both you and your parents in the years to come.
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