The Challenges We Face – Finding a New Normal

Just when we think the challenges we face can’t get any bigger, they do. The last three plus years of political divide around the world has upended our sense of who we are as a people and a nation. It seems every conversation is potentially a contentious one. We avoid certain topics of conversation, people and situations. We’ve settled into camps and tribes where we feel understood and supported. Even as we try earnestly to find a new normal in the situation, we remain hopeful for a change that will bring things back to “normal”. And now this.

HOW CAN WE MEET THE CHALLENGES WE FACE

We are adept at change, or try to be.  After all, we have lived long enough to know that the challenges we face seldom last forever. Things never stay the same and doing our best to “go with the flow” is our best bet for getting through with our sanity intact.

Many of us have had lots of practice as we navigated aging parents, children leaving home, etc., and  menopause gave us an opportunity to re-think who we are as women over fifty. Yes, the early mid-life years gave us plenty of practice at going with the flow. But, this, a global pandemic that will keep us confined for weeks, if not months. How are we to adapt to this challenge?

WHAT IS A NEW NORMAL?

Even though we’re barely a week into our isolation in the U.S., we sense the extreme disruption that this situation is going to cause ongoing. We’re okay today, but a new level of fear courses through our veins. Apprehension, unease, distrust can quickly erupt into irritability, sleeplessness, and anxiety. It’s not just the threat of the illness itself, we also fear the unknown, the invisible. Escape routes are not visible, and the support systems we had in place are no longer available. What are we to do to ease our anxiety?

First, and most importantly, we can and we will get through this. Whatever “this” turns out to be for us as individuals, we will muddle through to the best of our abilities. But, there are a few things that can help ease the pain. Here’s one I’ve been thinking about for myself.

CREATE STRUCTURE TO COMBAT ANXIETY

The challenges we face often disrupt our daily routines. It is extremely important to take steps to create a new “structure” to our days, to mitigate anxiety. “When you regulate our daily actions, you deactivate your “fight or flight” instincts because you’re no longer confronting the unknown.” Brianna Wiest, American Writer, Author, Essayist.  Our daily routines gives us a foundation and remind us of who we are and what is important to us. If they are disrupted it’s common to feel out of sorts.

Begin by taking a look at the routines and activities that are in this moment on hold. Which do you miss the most? What can you do to replace them in some fashion? Go for a similar feeling experience, something that will make a nice substitute.

One of my favorite things to do that I cannot do during the quarantine, is to visit my massage therapist.  She has closed her practice for the time being, and I am committed to staying put. I am choosing this particular routine because it is one that feels essential to helping me stay balanced and I am already missing it!

A RE-SET OF A PRE-PANDEMIC ROUTINE

First, I asked myself, what is it about this routine that uplifts, energizes and restores me? After some reflection, I’ve identified several elements of the experience that I value.

1.  I enjoy putting all of my responsibilities and cares aside for a time and focusing on me.
2.  My massage therapist works in her home and has created a calming, relaxing and healing environment that I find instantly centering.
3. We talk. This is not a normal part of most massage practices, but it has become an essential part of ours. My massage therapist and I have become friends. We’ve developed a unique connection and often spend several hours talking prior to the actual massage. We view life in a similar way and challenge one another as we travel along our spiritual and wellness paths.
4. The massage itself is a time when I let go of everything and just be. It feeds my body, mind and spirit and is often a sort of meditation. (Most of us become very disconnected from our bodies. We live in our heads and lose touch with the valuable support our body lends. For me, massage brings me back into my body if I have become to entrenched in my usual over-thinking ways.)
5. In addition, this practice reminds me of the value of taking care of myself.  It brings my attention to the value of silence, meditation, self-care and simplicity.

AN ALTERNATE ROUTINE

With the suspension of this routine, I’m now missing something that is essential to my well-being, in its ability to help me re-set. Now that three weeks have passed and the jitters have set in, it’s time for me to find other ways to reset on my own. Here’s what I have come up with so far.

1. Every two weeks I will take 3 to 4 hours and focus on mind/body/spirit healing and self-care. It will take some time for me to pull together exactly what I will do, but it will include some or all of these things: solitude, reflective reading, meditation, a soak in the tub, a foot soak & self-pedicure, essential oils, candles, herbal tea, meditative music.
2. I intend to create a sanctuary in my home for this purpose. It will be in the room that is now the guest bedroom and my office. It’s piled with stuff that needs to be sorted from my downsizing efforts, my grandson’s porta-crib, and far too many books! I have my work cut out for me. It is, however, freshly painted and I have a comfy new chair, candles, a diffuser and an Alexa Show. So I’m on my way.
3. There’s no real way to replace the one on one aspect of my conversations with M, but what I like most about that time is that we discuss issues close to my heart from a psycho/spiritual perspective. I believe reflective reading will fill in here. I have dozens of books already, any one of which will be a place to start.
4. During my “get-away” I will spend a portion of it in deep meditation. Most days I rely on mindfulness and relatively short guided imagery meditation. This will be something more substantial.
5. This commitment to a bi-weekly routine will be a reminder of the value and importance of silence and self care.

We are all trying to figure out how to cope with the challenges that we face during this uncommon time.  Carving out a structure in our upended lives will go a long way to helping us cope.

What are you missing in your life that you can find a temporary fix for? Who knows, it might become permanent!