FINDING JOY AS WE AGE – A CHOICE

Many of us don’t believe we can find joy as we age. After all, we’ve spent a lifetime striving, achieving, overcoming, managing, and caring for others often beyond our limits. And now, the issues of aging threaten to take the last bit of life and joy from us. But the opposite is true. Age is a gift and it can be joy filled. We simply have to look at things differently than we’re used to doing.

THE EXTERNAL STRUGGLE HABIT

Up until now we have been so busy with the external world and all its challenges that we’ve lost sight of what makes us happy, what really lights us up. We’ve forgotten the joy we felt at each discovery as a child and deeply believed would continue throughout our lives. Instead, we’ve spent years, maybe even a lifetime, struggling with the consequences of a difficult childhood, or watched our perfect marriage disintegrate, or our beautiful child fail to bloom.

While being a part of any family comes with complications, the challenges we faced have taught us much. Even if we don’t yet know exactly what we have learned, we can use the past as a springboard for finding joy. As we consider what we don’t want, we are able to see more clearly what we do want. Our choices are then an opportunity for choosing and experiencing better feeling moments. Moments add up to hours and hours to days.

We too often think we don’t have a choice to feel better, but we do. Every minute of every day we can choose to lay down our struggles, set aside the angst of our unfinished business and move instead with the rhythm of our inner guide. This guidance always leads toward better feeling thoughts, toward small pleasures and ultimately joy.

When we choose to think about what we do want, instead of pushing against what we don’t want we open the door to relief and to better feeling thoughts. This is the path to finding joy as we age.

EXCHANGE WORRY FOR JOY

As we age, we must be careful not to trade one hardship for another, one struggle for a new one. Yes, difficulties arise, the loss of a spouse, a child, a friend. Health concerns come knocking. Many of us find we are caring for a loved one and running ourselves ragged in the process. This is the stuff of life, but it need not define us. It need not rob us of our joy. It does require that we respond differently than we may done heretofore.

Instead of pushing against what comes into our lives, aging abundantly is about going with the flow and of following the rhythm of our deepest desires. It means turning toward what calls us from deep inside, what flows easily, unquestionably within us and follow where it leads.

ACCEPTANCE IS THE FOUNDATION

Acceptance is the foundation upon which a more joyful life is built. Yes, I am my husband’s caregiver. Yes, it requires more energy than I have many days. I lose sight of my lingering dreams and aspirations often. But, when I fight this reality I use even more energy, more time, and moments of joy are lost. When I give up the struggle, anchor myself to that thing inside of me that glows with truth and perspective, I find ease, strength, comfort, direction, creativity and even joy.

Accept what is. Do what you must. But, move with the rhythm of the inspiration that arises within you, that reliable force that has been present with you since birth. It calls to you from deep inside, powerfully summoning your attention. Follow where it leads. Don’t stop to think and plan, to fret and worry about whether or not it’s the “right” thing to do. Just move with it, one step at a time, enjoying the pleasure of its unfolding. If it stops feeling good, rest. Take a break and turn your attention to something that brings relief.

TREND TOWARD ENJOYMENT

Take a break from the intensity of your inspiration, not by running from it, doubting it, questioning it for that will not feel good to you. Instead, put your body, mind and hands to something you enjoy doing. It could be walking, gardening, meditating, playing with your grandchild, cooking a delightful meal, resting, sleeping. Tune your attention to the desire to experience what feels good, in a deep, full-body sense.