NAVIGATING EMOTIONS in DIFFICULT TIMES

Who among us has not felt red hot anger? In fact, anger is often the most appropriate emotion. Rage even. But, when we live in a place of constant anger or despair we do real damage to ourselves and those around us.

To be human is to be subject to the mood altering chemicals that course through our bodies. However, our feelings do not exist to toss us about but to guide us. All of them, even the ones that hurt like hell. Our feelings tell us very clearly what we want and don’t want. If we pay attention to them, we can use them to guide our ship through treacherous waters and toward calmer shores.

MEDITATION TO CULTIVATE AWARENESS

Key to unearthing the benefit of our emotions is to tune into the emotional process and to develop a habit of finding our center. This is a two step process. The order of the steps is less important than our awareness of them and practice.

Finding “center”, our foundation, our core self, an anchor inside of ourselves, is best done through a practice that silences the mind, quieting external noise and activities and listening. Meditation is the most commonly used practice.

The easiest way to develop and maintain a meditation practice is to find a meditation teacher or guide. The Insight Timer Ap is easy to use and always available. I love it. We all need teachers, mentors and/or guides on our journey through life.

BACK TO EMOTIONS

Our emotions arise from the thoughts we are thinking. They are not just random occurrences, nor are they always telling us what we think they’re telling us! In order to use our feelings to guide us to where our heart really wants to go, tune in to thoughts that preceded them as they arise. Then take a hard look at those thoughts. This is a learning process, like meditation, that takes time and practice.

As you tune into the thoughts you think and the accompanying emotion, you can then begin to look for better feelings thoughts. When your thoughts align with your true self the feelings that result are always positive.

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change.” ~ Wayne Dyer

I will try to give you an example from my own life. As someone who has battled depression throughout my life using traditional therapy and medication and with only a modicum of success, I have come to understand that depression was programmed into my very personal thought patterns. Without changing these habits of thought and their underlying beliefs, I didn’t stand a chance in hell of being happy.

MOVING UP THE LADDER OF EMOTIONS

Despair and depression are bottom rung emotions. Thoughts that go with these feelings are, “It’s hopeless.” “I’m stuck.” “I fail at everything I do and always will.” “I have no one in my life who really cares about me.” “We are doomed.” You get the idea. We think these statements are true. But are they? What we call “truth” is just thoughts we keep thinking. (Therein lies our disconnect from others who repeat a different set of thoughts = beliefs. They are as convinced as we are, just about different things.)

Question your thoughts while looking for a better feeling thought, one that feels comfortable and acceptable. If you start with, “It’s hopeless.”

• • • Can you really know that it is hopeless?
    • Is everything hopeless? Or just a few specific things?
    • Can you find something in the here and now that you believe is not hopeless?
    • What thought brings a more positive feeling?

It’s important that you believe your better feeling thought.

Responses:

• • • It is possible that something I can’t foresee will change the trajectory of my situation in a positive direction.
    • My grandsons, and children in general, remind me of hope. Walking in nature and focusing on the beauty helps me feel better. Exercise lifts my spirits. Paying attention to things I enjoy gives me hope.
    • Things may not turn out as bad as I think they will.

It’s also helpful to know that when you are experiencing depression and despair, anger is an improvement. It can serve to energize you into action. Therefore, finding something to be angry about can be a relief for a time.

If you are struggling, this is a process worth exploring. Some of the teachers that I have found most helpful can be found in the books in my reading list. And for those of you who are yourselves teachers, I always appreciate your input in this conversation.

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