THESE ARE TUMULTUOUS TIMES, AND. . .

“For me, one of the most difficult parts of pain—physical or emotional—is not knowing when it will end. The despair that causes, and the subsequent loss of hope, can often be as debilitating as the actual injury or trauma.” ~ Dorothy Sander, Pathway to a Happier You, Navigating Life Transitions

Who hasn’t felt this, especially now during these tumultuous times? The agony of not being able to envision the end of our suffering is not only loss of hope, but utter despair. Beneath it all is a sense of powerlessness. We can no longer imagine what we can do to lift ourselves and/or our loved ones out of the misery they are in.

When I wrote the above quote, I was reflecting on my own, very personal injury and trauma.  It seems that navigating my personal suffering taught me a few things that I am now finding useful in addressing the sense powerlessness I often feel when I tune into the news.

WILL IT EVER END?

Beneath the words “will it ever end?”  is fear, fear of loss of control over our happiness and well-being, fear of suffering endlessly, fear of the loos of freedom. Will we ever know the ease that freedom provided us, or a life free of threat, controversy, anger? And, understandably, the situation as viewed through the most prevalent media outlets provokes a response that is either fearful or enraged. A couple of things come to mind.

First and foremost, we can and must take back personal control. We may not be able to control our politicians, or our neighbors, but we can control ourselves and our actions. If we only do one thing, if we can only manage to wrestle our psyche to the ground in one way, it’s this – begin to make different choices than we’ve been accustomed to making.

STEP OUT OF THE CHAOS

I have found the most effective way to step out of the chaos is to limit the time I’m attached to technology. Here is what I have done and am doing that I have found helpful,

1. Tune into how I feel when I open up a social media account and begin engaging. Then I choose content and actions that produce either neutral or positive feelings. If I get agitated, I step out of the chaos, put down my phone or laptop and do something else.
2. My husband and I stopped watching the news, and the news we were watching was the PBS Newshour, before the election. Even the best news sources are not offering a view of reality that is even handed. To stay informed at a level that feels right for us we read a select few writers that we trust to give us what we need to know with a broader perspective.
3. I’ve paused my Amazon Prime account for the time being and limit my shopping time to once a month. Small lifestyle changes can make a big difference.
4. My son and I have agreed to limit any political conversations that rile us up, we agree on everything and can quickly engage around many subjects that leave us feeling stressed and exhausted afterwards. I have the same agreement with several of my friends.

As human beings we were born to be connected. How we connect is crucial to our wellbeing. By tuning into physical signals, feelings and moods, and making more conscious choices about how we connect, we can bring power and sanity back into our day-to-day life.

LISTEN TO YOUR PAIN

Instead of fearing the unknown, the future, the politicians, listen to your pain. Learn from it and adjust your attention accordingly. There is always something we can learn from our discomfort, even if it never goes away completely. It does not have to defeat us, and it does not have to drive us to despair.

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